My Little Fighter

This will be a quick one.

As I was doing the dishes earlier and hurrying to clean as much as I could before June woke up from her nap, I started thinking about how just a year ago we found out that God was going to bless us with a baby. Actually it was January 3rd that we found out, but I can't believe that little over a year ago, I had no idea that our lives were going to change so drastically and wonderfully. For a week, Jason and I were so thrilled, nervous, anxious and excited for an amazing journey that we were embarking on. It seemed as if nothing could get us down. I went to my doctor's appointment, had some bloodwork done and was sent home with the happy news. A year ago today though, things started to get a little shaky. Many people don't know this, but just as soon as Jason and I found out that I was pregnant, we also found out that something might be wrong. I was at work and I started bleeding. I called the doctor and the nurse told me that I needed to have an ultrasound immediately. I was so scared. I had the ultrasound, terrified, and as we waited (a whole day!) to get the results, our home became less and less excited and more and more sad. We decided to tell our family members about what was happening, although, origially we were going to tell everyone about the pregnancy in a fun and creative way. The doctor called and said that they couldn't find a heartbeat. Jason was so awesome, as I cried, so worried, and then he cried too. It was a moment I will never forget. Both of us talked about how we hadn't known this baby or held it but somehow we loved it more than anything we could ever imagine. And how could God give us such an amazing gift and take it away so quickly? It was the worst week and a half of our lives. My mom told us to have faith and so we did. Faith was the only thing we could cling to at that point. We were told that we would have to have another ultrasound later that week and at that point decisions would be made. Our 1st anniversary was that weekend and we planned on going on vacation. It was going to be an interesting trip, and it was, as my morning sickness kicked in full force. We were both so anxious to hear the results of the tests and that held us back from enjoying our time together. Not to mention, Jason had been in a car accident in the middle of all this, so our lives were completely turned upside down.

Jason and I vowed to do whatever it took to give this baby a fighting chance. June, being as strong as she is, didn't give up her fight either. During the ultrasound, our technician (who was so awesome!), turned up the volume and said, "I don't know what that guy was talking about. There's the heartbeat!" We were soooo happy and relieved. The rest is history...

So today, as I think about just a year ago, I thank God for June, for her love, for the cuddles, for her cries, even for her spit-up. I just couldn't imagine life without her. But I also think about those babies that may not make it. The ones that God decides to take because he has a different purpose for them. Say a little prayer for them today and for their parents. I know I am.